In the 90’s heyday of American wrestling there was a WWF (now WWE) wrestler called the Million Dollar Man (stay with me I’m going somewhere). His theme music began with the line ‘Everyone’s got a price’. The second verse gets a bit more definitive of this opening statement ‘Some might cost a little, some might cost a lot, but I’m the Million Dollar Man and you will be bought, mwahahahahahahah’. You may be wondering why in the hell is this madwoman quoting lines from the theme tune of a long retired 90’s wrestler? Well it’s because I am kind of beginning to believe that the Million Dollar Man may be more right than wrong. What I am begrudgingly trying to figure out is what my price is?
Not often will I admit to being inspired by Big Brother but it always manages to raise some mind rattling questions for me beyond the peaks and troughs of reality T.V. celebrity. Often it makes me shake my head at the realities of human interaction beyond the ‘nice’ facade we often accept. This year the Karly/Kenneth Dynamic of BB 10 has made me seriously consider how easy it is to buy love, devotion, attention, an entire person. I watched as Kenneth, Karly’s multi millionaire beau, entered the BB house and proceeded in his short stay to defecate all over the relationship Karly had painted in such beautiful hues. He flirted relentlessly, as if nobody was watching, with her friend Sophie and non friend Noirin. He spoke openly about the fact that Karly was ‘expendable’ to him and made it clear that even though he was 'not that impressed' by her at their initial meeting he knew he could ‘get’ her. Hearing this not so ringing endorsement of his lady love little old me, a graduate of the Independent Woman school of thought, assumed that upon his wall scaling exit form BB Kenny would be in receipt of a sharp elbow to the kerb from feisty Karly. After all private humiliation is one thing, humiliation on national T.V. is another level of torture. No right minded person would accept that. Right? Err... HELLOOO! Earth to De Plume. HE’S A MILLIONAIRE! Duh! One shopping trip later Karly was sat dutifully beside her beloved on live TV to support him as he was grilled by a hostile studio audience and Davina McCall. I was singing Destiny’s Child alone as she swayed willingly to ‘Stand By Your Man’.
I would never profess to be ascetic or capable of saintly levels of self denial. Anyone who knows me could tell you my love of alcohol, kitchen equipment and stationary throws any notions like that straight out the window. I like beautiful things way out of my budget and I can be swayed almost as much as the next person. However I have a legendary streak of stubbornness which when prodded can manifest itself in extreme self denial. But for the sake of ‘love’ for instance or if I was in Karly’s position could I throw aside my Old Testament style morality, un-dig my heels and negotiate my price? Would I put up with blatant flirting with other women, lies or public humiliation - all relationship deal breakers for me - if at every wrong doing he apologised with something from Cartier or better still a Kenwood mega Mixer?
This type of exchange has been going on for time and memorial. I am not talking about prostitution, in that exchange it is mainly sexual services for a price. Nor am I talking about two people from very different financial strata’s getting together for romantic dalliances, being together or forming a relationship. Rest assured I am very definitely not talking about the confusing ‘L’ word either. I’m talking about women under the controlling influence of a wallet whilst in a relationship. Pay to play mind games and sadistic carrot/stick incentives in an arrangement where a deluded partner thinks an expensive purchase negates prevalent disrespect and disregard within the confines of a ‘relationship’.
As if by magic this weekend valid input to my personal pricing strategy appeared in the Sunday Mirror newspaper. 22 year old Pennsylvania native Kristin had divorced her 85 year old husband Joe. Why? She objected to his constant demands for sex and requests for her to dress in sexy lingerie (instead of her comfy PJ’s). His attempts to grope her while watching TV were a definite no no. I mean as Kristin said ‘That’s not how married couples behave’???? This libidinous octogenarian had his young wife running for the hills with his demands for sexy time and why would the beautiful Kristin mess up her well coiffed blonde locks to give the randy old goat a happy ending? Why Indeed. I mean the cheek of the man. He should just be grateful she agreed to marry him. I mean why would this effervescent young filly want to make the beast with two backs with that old nag? Oh sorry, did I forget to mention, Joe is a billionaire, the owner of America’s third biggest DIY chain. Before their marriage Kristin worked as a beautician in a luxury hotel owned by Joe where she earned around £700 per month. After what can only be described as the world’s best manicure Joe took a shine to his young employee and began showering her with gifts. Less than two months after their first 'date' the pair got hitched in fine style in Las Vegas.
While Kristin did sign a pre nup she was in no way objectionable to accepting gifts from Joe including a Porsche before they were married. Nor did the self professed ‘simple country girl’ hesitate from indulging in the other trappings of the billionaires lifestyle including the private jets, mansions, expensive trips to Europe and jewellery. However she was much less accepting of Joe’s amorous advances. Now if I'm playing devil’s advocate here caveat emptor Joe. Buyer BEWARE. You get what you pay for and if it’s easily got it can be just as easily lost. Nevertheless to be fair to Joe I would venture to say that if Kristin was a shop bought item he may have had a case for a full refund. False advertising comes to mind. It is crystal clear to me, if not to Kristin, what her purpose was. After all I am sure you wouldn’t buy a Ferrari to park it in the garage if you catch my drift.
Purchasing companionship is an elitist sport reserved only for the sufficiently wealthy and sociopathic amongst us. Like football there are leagues and various ‘skill’ levels. I mean in the Premiership/Major League we may have a yacht to say ‘I’m sorry’, in the Conference/ Minors it may be a pair of Prada sunglasses. Reassuringly it all amounts to the same thing. However tenuous the bond between the buyer and his hot bodied companion the fact is for a pricey pair of shoes or a diamond there are a number of women (I can only speak from my gender perspective here. The male equivalent will be a whole other article) who can be bought. Women who are willingly appeased by financial reimbursements for the emotional transgressions of their ‘men’.
It is possible that both parties have something to lose in these bargains, after all human beings are not the same as objects. With inanimate objects you can make sure they serve their purpose and perform the exact duty for which they were bought. Can you do that with people? While you can temporarily ‘gift’ them into submission keeping it that way can be an exhausting task. I mean all it takes is a bigger ego, a bigger wallet or bigger promises to spirit a courtesan away. Even a simple change of heart will do. I mean if there are no real ties apart from shoes and good times then the grass is always greener.
What alarms me is that these are young able bodied women for which the battles of feminism were hotly contested. Bras were burned, women were trampled, dinners were burned and ironing left undone. But spurred on by the Celeb WAG revolution handbags have become common currency in a trade for self respect. Yet I might have this all wrong. The romantic in me (and there is one) may have taken over, fantasised a relationship where gifts do not go hand in hand with a love felony. Where a nice top does not translate as ‘do as I say and there’s more where that came from’. These women may in fact have it all right. In the imperfect illogical unregulated game of love rules must be bent, stretched and negotiated so it is perfectly acceptable to drain his pocket for every wrong doing. If he wants to give you take. If he’s wrong he should pay and if he is generous you should accept, it would be rude not to.
On a wider social scale is it possible that in a world where equal pay in the workplace is theory and not practice this is arena where we are for once on top? Much like the Adult entertainment industry here the glass ceiling is broken and we are sufficiently financially compensated for the effort and hard work it takes to be female today. (WOE!) On the other hand is this use of feminine wiles really worth it? Is the conniving and bartering making one bit off difference in the grand scheme of things? Does the end justify the means and is the trade equal? While goods depreciate with use will your soul do the same under the strain? Because I am sure these men only stake financially what they can afford to lose. No player in this game should risk sufficient valuables to make themselves broke unless he/she ultimately finds love a of self or another enough to make the exchange meaningful. I am in no way trying to say that my strive to self sufficiency would make me reject lovely beautiful nice shiny glowing expensive gifts nor would I expect anyone else to. But coupled with a deliberate attempt to own, rule and conquer me I may think twice about exactly what it is I am accepting.
Not often will I admit to being inspired by Big Brother but it always manages to raise some mind rattling questions for me beyond the peaks and troughs of reality T.V. celebrity. Often it makes me shake my head at the realities of human interaction beyond the ‘nice’ facade we often accept. This year the Karly/Kenneth Dynamic of BB 10 has made me seriously consider how easy it is to buy love, devotion, attention, an entire person. I watched as Kenneth, Karly’s multi millionaire beau, entered the BB house and proceeded in his short stay to defecate all over the relationship Karly had painted in such beautiful hues. He flirted relentlessly, as if nobody was watching, with her friend Sophie and non friend Noirin. He spoke openly about the fact that Karly was ‘expendable’ to him and made it clear that even though he was 'not that impressed' by her at their initial meeting he knew he could ‘get’ her. Hearing this not so ringing endorsement of his lady love little old me, a graduate of the Independent Woman school of thought, assumed that upon his wall scaling exit form BB Kenny would be in receipt of a sharp elbow to the kerb from feisty Karly. After all private humiliation is one thing, humiliation on national T.V. is another level of torture. No right minded person would accept that. Right? Err... HELLOOO! Earth to De Plume. HE’S A MILLIONAIRE! Duh! One shopping trip later Karly was sat dutifully beside her beloved on live TV to support him as he was grilled by a hostile studio audience and Davina McCall. I was singing Destiny’s Child alone as she swayed willingly to ‘Stand By Your Man’.
I would never profess to be ascetic or capable of saintly levels of self denial. Anyone who knows me could tell you my love of alcohol, kitchen equipment and stationary throws any notions like that straight out the window. I like beautiful things way out of my budget and I can be swayed almost as much as the next person. However I have a legendary streak of stubbornness which when prodded can manifest itself in extreme self denial. But for the sake of ‘love’ for instance or if I was in Karly’s position could I throw aside my Old Testament style morality, un-dig my heels and negotiate my price? Would I put up with blatant flirting with other women, lies or public humiliation - all relationship deal breakers for me - if at every wrong doing he apologised with something from Cartier or better still a Kenwood mega Mixer?
This type of exchange has been going on for time and memorial. I am not talking about prostitution, in that exchange it is mainly sexual services for a price. Nor am I talking about two people from very different financial strata’s getting together for romantic dalliances, being together or forming a relationship. Rest assured I am very definitely not talking about the confusing ‘L’ word either. I’m talking about women under the controlling influence of a wallet whilst in a relationship. Pay to play mind games and sadistic carrot/stick incentives in an arrangement where a deluded partner thinks an expensive purchase negates prevalent disrespect and disregard within the confines of a ‘relationship’.
As if by magic this weekend valid input to my personal pricing strategy appeared in the Sunday Mirror newspaper. 22 year old Pennsylvania native Kristin had divorced her 85 year old husband Joe. Why? She objected to his constant demands for sex and requests for her to dress in sexy lingerie (instead of her comfy PJ’s). His attempts to grope her while watching TV were a definite no no. I mean as Kristin said ‘That’s not how married couples behave’???? This libidinous octogenarian had his young wife running for the hills with his demands for sexy time and why would the beautiful Kristin mess up her well coiffed blonde locks to give the randy old goat a happy ending? Why Indeed. I mean the cheek of the man. He should just be grateful she agreed to marry him. I mean why would this effervescent young filly want to make the beast with two backs with that old nag? Oh sorry, did I forget to mention, Joe is a billionaire, the owner of America’s third biggest DIY chain. Before their marriage Kristin worked as a beautician in a luxury hotel owned by Joe where she earned around £700 per month. After what can only be described as the world’s best manicure Joe took a shine to his young employee and began showering her with gifts. Less than two months after their first 'date' the pair got hitched in fine style in Las Vegas.
While Kristin did sign a pre nup she was in no way objectionable to accepting gifts from Joe including a Porsche before they were married. Nor did the self professed ‘simple country girl’ hesitate from indulging in the other trappings of the billionaires lifestyle including the private jets, mansions, expensive trips to Europe and jewellery. However she was much less accepting of Joe’s amorous advances. Now if I'm playing devil’s advocate here caveat emptor Joe. Buyer BEWARE. You get what you pay for and if it’s easily got it can be just as easily lost. Nevertheless to be fair to Joe I would venture to say that if Kristin was a shop bought item he may have had a case for a full refund. False advertising comes to mind. It is crystal clear to me, if not to Kristin, what her purpose was. After all I am sure you wouldn’t buy a Ferrari to park it in the garage if you catch my drift.
Purchasing companionship is an elitist sport reserved only for the sufficiently wealthy and sociopathic amongst us. Like football there are leagues and various ‘skill’ levels. I mean in the Premiership/Major League we may have a yacht to say ‘I’m sorry’, in the Conference/ Minors it may be a pair of Prada sunglasses. Reassuringly it all amounts to the same thing. However tenuous the bond between the buyer and his hot bodied companion the fact is for a pricey pair of shoes or a diamond there are a number of women (I can only speak from my gender perspective here. The male equivalent will be a whole other article) who can be bought. Women who are willingly appeased by financial reimbursements for the emotional transgressions of their ‘men’.
It is possible that both parties have something to lose in these bargains, after all human beings are not the same as objects. With inanimate objects you can make sure they serve their purpose and perform the exact duty for which they were bought. Can you do that with people? While you can temporarily ‘gift’ them into submission keeping it that way can be an exhausting task. I mean all it takes is a bigger ego, a bigger wallet or bigger promises to spirit a courtesan away. Even a simple change of heart will do. I mean if there are no real ties apart from shoes and good times then the grass is always greener.
What alarms me is that these are young able bodied women for which the battles of feminism were hotly contested. Bras were burned, women were trampled, dinners were burned and ironing left undone. But spurred on by the Celeb WAG revolution handbags have become common currency in a trade for self respect. Yet I might have this all wrong. The romantic in me (and there is one) may have taken over, fantasised a relationship where gifts do not go hand in hand with a love felony. Where a nice top does not translate as ‘do as I say and there’s more where that came from’. These women may in fact have it all right. In the imperfect illogical unregulated game of love rules must be bent, stretched and negotiated so it is perfectly acceptable to drain his pocket for every wrong doing. If he wants to give you take. If he’s wrong he should pay and if he is generous you should accept, it would be rude not to.
On a wider social scale is it possible that in a world where equal pay in the workplace is theory and not practice this is arena where we are for once on top? Much like the Adult entertainment industry here the glass ceiling is broken and we are sufficiently financially compensated for the effort and hard work it takes to be female today. (WOE!) On the other hand is this use of feminine wiles really worth it? Is the conniving and bartering making one bit off difference in the grand scheme of things? Does the end justify the means and is the trade equal? While goods depreciate with use will your soul do the same under the strain? Because I am sure these men only stake financially what they can afford to lose. No player in this game should risk sufficient valuables to make themselves broke unless he/she ultimately finds love a of self or another enough to make the exchange meaningful. I am in no way trying to say that my strive to self sufficiency would make me reject lovely beautiful nice shiny glowing expensive gifts nor would I expect anyone else to. But coupled with a deliberate attempt to own, rule and conquer me I may think twice about exactly what it is I am accepting.
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ReplyDeleteho hum. this is an article i would have written (not so well) pre-P.G. now ive been exposed to the showering of expensive gifts, fast cars and 5*get-aways, I'm a little tarnished but I do have a huge smile on my face. thoughtful gifts, however, dont need to be expensive. the old age saying is as true as it gets 'its the thought that counts'
ReplyDelete@London Lady, good on you. Although it's not quite the same. I'm just bitter. LMAO.
ReplyDelete